


Scars

by MeiJelly



Category: Magi - Fandom, Magi: Kingdom of Magic, Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sindria, magi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 8,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4770059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeiJelly/pseuds/MeiJelly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The king and the loyal advisor, but has it always been so luxurious, will it always be? What scars does this ever-present ever-silent shadow have hidden. Will Sinbad be able to save Ja'far from himself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Warning: Triggering content ahead. If you have had a past with self-harm and or similar problems, be very cautious reading this. 

Thank you. 

Without further adieu, I give you, Scars


	2. Perfect Li(f)e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I wrote this at like 1 am I don't know what I was doing
> 
> Please comment if you enjoyed!!!

Sinbad had groaned when he learned he had yet another meeting. It seemed he had no free time anymore, when would it end? The paperwork, the meetings, the politics, they were all wearing down on him. 

Yet, he looked forward to seeing Ja'far, even if it meant he got a slap on the wrist for running off before a meeting yesterday. 

Ja'far on the other hand, had pulled himself from bed, getting dressed as he always did. Everyday was the same, and everyday, he pulled his mask on further to hide himself. No matter what, he couldn't let Sinbad find out about his feelings. 

Ja'far splashed the cool water against his face and pressed his palms to his cheeks, as if trying to absorb the liquid. The white-haired male pulled his hands away and glanced into the mirror above his sink. The outlines of faded dark circles stained his porcelain skin and he could feel the heaviness setting in again. Having pulled on and secured his Keffiyeh, Ja'far made his way toward the meeting room, adjusting his wires ever so slightly underneath the coverage of his long belled sleeves. He took some small comfort in being able to hide himself in the fabric of his robes. 

Of course, he had arrived before everyone else in the Kings Parliament, and so he sat quietly, left to his thoughts. 

Ja'far hated lying to Sinbad about his condition, it was wrong and distrustful, even when Sin was the only one he trusted everything to. Sure, he trusted the other Generals and a few other individuals, but not to tell them his troubles. Even then, he didn't tell Sin... 

Sinbad loved Ja'far, and he knew it. Sinbad knew that Ja'far was the only person he'd want to spend his life with, yet, he couldn't bring himself to fully tell Ja'far that. 

Ja'far loved Sinbad as well, but he was always the secretive type with his feelings. His feelings were usually only shown through acts of loyalty, and sometimes in a fight Ja'far would get almost too upset when Sinbad's honor was at stake. 

There had only been one time since Sinbad rescued Ja'far from his days as an assassin that they spent a night together. That one night had been a particularly bad one as Ja'far had broken down in Sinbad's quarters, sobbing into his sleeves as he begged Sinbad to let him stay forever, to accept him for who he was, without his past. And Sinbad, of course, agreed. He held Ja'far till he fell asleep, and he continued to whisper comforting words to the smaller male. 

That was nearly six years ago.

Ja'far had often wished to be comforted by his king since then, but he could never bring himself to ask his one and only. 

It was then, that Sharkkan entered and nudged the other white-haired General, snapping Ja'far back to reality. " Hey, what's up with you? You've been quiet lately. "

Yamuraiha had already entered and heard the remark Sharkkan had made. " He's always quiet, idiot. "

Sharkkan stood once more and glared at the woman, " I meant he's quieter than usual!" He shouted, " And I'm no idiot! "

Ja'far stood quietly, looming near the other two. Immediately, the two halted and sat silently, still glaring at one another. 

Ja'far returned to his seat and awaited the other members. 

Sinbad was the last to enter and as he sat he grew worried, his advisor had dark circles under his eyes, and only nodded to greet him. Usually the smaller male would stand and bow, asking the king how he had slept. It was routine. 

" Ja'far? Are you feeling well?" Sin asked, voice practically oozing concern. 

Ja'far hid the slight jump he felt he might've executed out of shock. He nodded, " Yes, I am well. A bit tired, that's all. " 

Sinbad knew that Ja'far was an insomniac, to a certain degree, but he also knew that he had often experienced ongoing nightmares when he did finally fall into sleep's embrace. However, it seemed worse today. 

Sinbad nodded in return, "Alright," he began, " then shall we start our meeting?" 

The room of Generals nodded in unison, and so their meeting began. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly an hour later, the meeting ended and each respective member left to begin their duties.

Ja'far, immediately left to his office, escaping the king and the lecture Ja'far knew he would probably be in for if he didn't leave quickly. 

Usually, it was the other way around. Ja'far had given the lectures, and Sinbad had tried to escape them. 

Ja'far slid into his chair, eager to finish his paperwork. In actuality, eager wouldn't be the right term, but he wanted this day to be over with as soon as possible.


	3. A Long Time Coming

Things in the palace had gone fairly normally since the meeting a week ago, and yet Ja'far still seemed distant. Or--more distant, that is. Ja'far always had a withdrawn personality, but now it was more pronounced, as he often avoided eye contact, spoke less frequently, and was found in his office more often than usual. Not to mention, three nights in a week, many in the palace had awoken to Ja'far screaming. His nightmares had gotten worse. None of them mentioned it, as they knew it would upset and embarrass him. 

Ja'far went on each day, going through the routines, and ignoring his fellow Generals, even Spartos had tried to reach out. Ja'far pushed everyone away now. Hinahoho, Spartos, Drakon, and Pisti had continually invited Ja'far to join them in activities, but he always declined. Yamuraiha and Sharkkan even went to Ja'far's office to ask if he needed help with anything, still he replied negatively. 

One night, the remaining seven Generals joined with Sinbad for a meeting to express their concerns, while Ja'far had been sleeping. 

Suddenly, in the midst of the meeting, a scream echoed through the halls, and Sinbad stood swiftly. He moved the exit the room, but Drakon and Hinahoho stopped him. 

" Let him be for now, let us figure out what to do as a group before we address him. " Hinahoho advised. 

Sinbad sighed and nodded, moving back to his seat. 

Unbeknownst to the group, Ja'far had given into his weakness...

A weakness that could kill.


	4. Silent Surrender

Ja'far awoke, screaming. He was breathless, and a sheen of coldsweat had enveloped his skin. Shakily he sat up, holding his head as the tears fell to the thin duvet.

Running, running from the monster that was himself. Tattered clothing and stitched scars, blades, wires of crimson. Blood red, his blood. Ja'far ran. His younger self, the monster he was, chased him, hunted him. Ja'far was just an animal for slaughter. The woman, the brown haired woman, she screamed, before she fell silent. Slumping to the floor, she was a silent corpse. The child, the boy who watched as a boy not much older than he, killed his father, then him. Slicing, ever silent. Slaughter. Just animals for slaughter. They deserve to die. You deserve to die. You're a murderer. A monster. You are worthless. Stained by the blood of thousands. You are unclean. You are unworthy of love. Who would ever show so much as a caring thought for someone like you? No one. You are alone. 

Kill, kill, kill. Now you will be killed. You will be silenced. Blood poured from the areas of missing flesh, a scream trapped in his throat. Then, he was without a head. He saw his own head roll from his body, and stare up at the younger version of himself. He screamed--

Ja'far relived the dream and his knees grew weak as he tried to stand, tried to run. He fell to the floor with a thud, the tile beneath him cold and unforgiving as the sliced at his knees from the force of his weight. Ja'far tried to pull himself up, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned, seeing the piercing silver eyes bearing down on him. He scrambled, trying to move fast enough. Having stumbled into the bathroom he slammed the door closed, then it happened. 

Ja'far screamed again as he saw his friends, his people, Sinbad, dead. It was his fault, nothing could make that cut the way his wires did.

Clamouring to get a hold of the sink before he collapsed again, he reached out. Ja'far caught himself on the faucet of the sink, pulling himself upward. 

He tried to catch his breath, inhaling as slowly as possible. Slowly he began to calm, realising it was only a dream. 

{ WARNING TRIGGERING CONTENT AHEAD }

He slumped to the floor, finding his hidden stash of razors, as if he needed them. He had his blades... He'd never used his blades in such a manner, yet he shoved his other razors away. 

Ja'far untangled his wires, holding the blades in his shaky hands. Moonlight spilled in from the bathroom window, and he could see his wrists, marred and unsightly. He drug himself to the wall, falling on his knees once more, blood now smearing the glass mosaic on the floor. 

Ja'far held the blades to his wrist with a shaky hand. 

He needed to get rid of he pain. It had to stop, he couldn't love with the pain, he needed a way to distract himself. 

It had been seven years since he self-harmed, but he could never bring himself to get rid of the blades, or his razors. The spilt box of metal cutouts lay around him, cluttering the floor and glinting in the hazy moonlit room. 

Then, he sliced into his wrist. Digging in deeply, he drug the sharp metal through his flesh. 

Ja'far was rewarded with the spilling of crimson as it trailed down his forearms and splattered to the floor in drops. 

It was a sharp pain, that slowly dulled to a throbbing soreness. It stung, but he continued. 

Soon enough, a small pool of blood had surrounded the porcelain skinned male. The only sound was his ragged breaths, and the choked sobs escaping his lips. 

Then, having heard the second scream Sinbad bolted from the meeting, dashing down the hall, yet his feet weren't moving fast enough. He couldn't will himself to go faster, everything was so slow. 

Sinbad reached the room and opened the door much harder than he would've, and scanned the room, the sobs emitting from the bathroom drew Sin inward. Sin made his way to the bathroom and first saw Ja'far's huddled form.

" Ja'far!" Sinbad cried.


	5. Why?

At his feet, was smeared blood, then as he moved his eyes across the floor he saw the blades, and more blood, until a pool of blood that surrounded the smaller male had outstretched.

Sinbad rushed forward, kneeling in front of the white-haired male. 

Ja'far slowly looked up at the man who had held his shoulders tightly. His face was almost hollow, void of expression. Though, his eyes were bleary and cheeks sallow. Ja'far's arms had gone limp and his blades had fallen to the floor with a soft thud. This was not the man Sinbad knew...

Where was his Ja'far?

Ja'far said nothing and stared blankly at Sinbad. Then, his eyes widened and he screamed a third time, pulling his hands to his head as he bent forward. 

A picture of Sinbad, sliced open and laying bloodied, atop the pile of corpses; his friends strewn over themselves.

Sinbad almost let go of him, decided against it and pulled Ja'far into his tight embrace. 

" Ja'far, shhh. It's okay, shhh. " He continued urging as Ja'far trembled violently, racked with sobs.

Sinbad pulled Ja'far to his feet, wanting to bandage his wrists. He'd lost too much blood, he could barely stand at this point.

Sinbad lifted him into his arms, carrying him to the bed and quickly tearing the sheets. He took the long strips of cloth and wrapped them around Ja'far's wrists one at a time. Sinbad fastened them in a knot and began to adjust Ja'far to a sitting position. He was lighter than usual, he was skin and bones to begin with, but he had stopped eating and drank very little. Sinbad raised a glass of water to his lips gently,

" Ja'far, you have to drink some water. " 

Ja'far shook his head and writhed in pain, burying his face in the pillow. His every breath shook and he was frail. Sinbad touched his shoulder with the utmost care. " Please, Ja'far... " 

He was already beginning to bleed through the bandage... And so in correspondence with his blood loss, he calmed. He began to lose consciousness, and his limbs grew limp, his head falling forward. 

Sinbad began to panic, setting the water down and running to find Yamuraiha.   
" Yamuraiha! Where are you?! Help! " 

He yelled, voice cracking in pain. 

Yam finally came into view and he took her arm, pulling her to Ja'far's room. "He's in bad condition, please, Yamuraiha, I need your help..." He pleaded, kneeling beside Ja'far. 

Yam nodded, pulling her staff to the ready, and beginning her incantations.

All Sinbad could focus on, was Ja'far's chest... He needed to breathe....


	6. Please

Yamuraiha had gone, she had done what she could, but the ever-silent General had lost so much blood, she was unsure he'd make it. He was fairly stable when she left, but Sinbad sat next to his best friend, holding his pale and clammy hand in his. 

Sinbad couldn't tear his eyes from the male's chest, he had to make sure it continued its steady rise and fall. He couldn't handle it if Ja'far left him. The king would fall to bits, along with him, his kingdom. Ja'far was the only person he'd harboured feelings for in a very long while, and even if that hadn't been the case, he was also his best friend. 

Ja'far lay unconscious for hours, and more than once had he stopped breathing. His forehead was damp with sweat, and his body was weak and paler than ever. On a normal day, the general was pale as a piece of parchment, but now, he seemed almost ghostly. Sinbad was exhausted, but he refused to take his eyes off Ja'far, for fear that he would disappear.

He felt so useless, clinging to his friends hand, holding it to his lips with nothing to do. He couldn't help, none of them could, and throughout the night, every general paid a visit, at least once. Yam came every half hour to an hour, and Sharkkan appeared more than once, yet neither of them spoke, only knelt or sat beside the king and his advisor, wishing for better conditions. Drakon visited twice before dawn, and Hinahoho told his family he would be absent for an unknown amount of time, as he wanted to stay in the palace in case of emergency. Pisti sobbed when she arrived, and she stayed for over an hour, laying her hand on her fellow generals arm. Spartos just sat silently, looking at his friend. He was never a man of many words, but he and Ja'far got along fine without the need of speech... Though he feared his friend would not last through this tragedy. 

~~~~~

The sun began to rise, and light spilled into the bedroom, but there was no solace here. There was no early morning peace. There was only the grief and worry of a family, bound by friendship. 

Sinbad still sat, squeezing his friends hand, and through the night, his thoughts kept him company... He came to understand his feelings for the white-haired male. He loved Ja'far. There was no denying it, though it was the kind of love he felt for the other generals, this was different. 

Occasionally he stood and paced, his eyes keeping steady contact with Ja'far. 

Still, the generals visited, and eventually, Sinbad broke. His friends condition hadn't improved, and he hadn't woken either. He cried softly, kissing Ja'far's hand as he wept. Finally, he managed to stop crying, but with puffy eyes, he continued to dab a cool washcloth across his forehead, and brushed hair from Ja'far's face. 

" Please, Ja'far... Don't leave me..." The king whimpered, feeling childish and weak, though he didn't care. He had a right to be, his best friend was dying. "Ja'far, don't die on me... You still have to scold me for missing the meeting the other day... And all the other things I have yet do..."


	7. Don't Leave Me

Ja'far remained unconscious for three days, and during that span, Sinbad stayed by his side.

Finally, Yamuraiha ordered the king to get some rest, as he couldn't keep doing this. She promised him that she would keep an eye on him, but he declined, refusing to move. 

" I'll stay here. I won't leave him. " Sinbad said indignantly, though his face showed the exhaustion he felt. 

Yamuraiha sighed and left, still returning periodically to check in. 

~~~~

Around midday, Ja'far's eyes fluttered open, half-lidded. He glanced around, staying immobile, but his eyes met Sinbad, who had fallen asleep, his head laid against the bedside, his hand still wrapped loosely around Ja'far's. 

Ja'far slowly moved his hand, his body aching, and placed it against Sinbad's cheek gently, smoothing his thumb across the Kings face. " S-sin..." He choked out hoarsely. 

The king slowly awoke, eyes groggily bouncing about before widening as he saw Ja'far. " Ja'far! " He exclaimed, standing quickly and leaning over to examine the advisors body, being sure he was alright. " A-are you okay? How do you feel? " He asked concernedly. 

Ja'far grumbled softly and shook his head. " E-...everything hurts..." He winced, eyes squinting against the sunlight. 

Sinbad noticed this and quickly moved to close the curtains, and returned to Ja'far's side. 

" Sh-shouldn't you be running--" He winced again, " a-a country...?" The advisor chastised weakly. 

Sinbad shook his head, kneeling beside Ja'far's laying form. " No, I'm supposed to be here, taking care of you... I don't want to run a country without you..." 

If Ja'far had more blood in his system, he would've blushed. He placed his hand against the king's cheek once more, and Sinbad held it there. " Ja'far... I'm lost without you... Please don't leave me..." He pleaded, looking at Ja'far with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen. 

Ja'far tried to hold back the tears that stung his eyes, he had a massive headache, but he clasped Sin's cheek, and managed a weak nod. " I-I'll do--my best..." 

Tears began to stain the Kings cheeks as he squeezed his general's hand. 

" I-I have something to tell you..." Sinbad stuttered, feeling Ja'far's thumb brush away the tears. 

Ja'far looked at him quizzically, unable to do much else, his voice cracky and hoarse. " Wh-what is it...?" 

Sinbad took a deep breath and tried to calm himself as he moved to sit at the edge of the bed, and took Ja'far's hand once more. " Ja'far... I-" He swallowed loudly and shook his head softly. " I-I... I love you, Ja'far..." He said quietly.

Ja'far was stunned, this news on top of the migraine he was developing, he felt as if he may lose consciousness again. 

"Sin... I-I..."


	8. Best Chance

Sinbad watched impatiently as he awaited his advisor's response. 

Little did he know what would happen next. 

Ja'far's head dipped as his eyes fell shut, and his head lolled to one side. 

He had fallen back into unconsciousness, but this time, it was restless. His body stayed still, but his mind raged. He was fighting his own inner war, even as he had only narrowly escaped deaths cold grasp, there was no respite for the white-haired man. 

Sinbad's eyes widened and he stood, terrified that he may find his friend dead.

He checked to see he was breathing, he was. He felt for temperature, and found a forehead hot as coals. 

He yelled for Yamuraiha, who had told him she would not be far if needed, and she came running. 

" H-he was fine a minute ago! He woke up and spoke to me for a few minutes, but... He-" Sinbad had to take a deep breath to calm himself. " He passed out again and he has a bad fever..." 

Yam knelt next to Ja'far and placed her hand against his forehead. She almost flinched at how hot the males skin was. 

She pulled her staff back to her side and whispered her incantations once more, praying they would work. 

Sinbad collapsed next to Ja'far on the floor, squeezing his hand again, whispering pleas for him to be alright, to come back. 

Sinbad's crying had returned, as he held the general's hand to his cheek. " Please..." He continually whispered, feeling broken. 

Ja'far was fighting himself, his thoughts, his memories. And he was losing. 

He knew he loved Sinbad too, and he would've told him, in that moment, but now... His thoughts had won. 

He couldn't stay, he would only hurt Sinbad. And so he decided. He refused to hurt Sinbad further, for that's all that he could do now... 

~~~~~~~~~

Still Sinbad stay next to him, begging for him to live, to stay with him. 

But Ja'far's seemingly lifeless body, was quiet as the snow, and limp.

And finally his fever broke, and he began to breathe normally. He was still pale and clammy, but he was out of the biggest danger. And so he awoke late that night, hearing the Kings sobs his eyes widened, and he squeezed his hand.

Sinbad looked up quickly, to see he slight shimmer of Ja'fars eyes in the reflected moonlight. But something was wrong. 

Ja'far was crying too... But for a different reason, a much more terrible reason.


	9. When I'm Better

Sinbad was at Ja'far's side again, sitting and squeezing his hand. " Ja'far? Ja'far, a-are you alright?" 

Ja'far bit his lip and nodded, furrowing his brow slightly and squeezing Sinbad's hand in return. " S-Sin..." He said quietly, relieved to see he was still there. 

Sinbad nodded, " What is it? I'm here. "

Ja'far took a shaky breath and used the little strength he had to pull Sinbad down to him, kissing him softly. 

It didn't last long, but they both knew that Ja'far was still weak, and that may have been all he could manage. At least Sinbad knew his answer... 

When he pulled away, Ja'far was a bit out of breath, and that was saying something, as he'd been an assassin most of his life, not much could phase him physically. He laid back, trying to catch his breath. 

Sinbad handed him a glass of water, and with a trembling hand it was received, trying to bring it to his lips. Sin steadied the glass and hand, gently tipping it to spill over his lips and into his mouth. 

He could only drink a few sips when he gestured for Sin to bring it back down. 

Ja'far seemed so... weak and broken... It hurt Sin so much to see him this way, but at least he was still alive... still here with him.

Ja'far managed a weak smile as Sinbad took his hand again, just gently.


	10. Progress

Sinbad was painfully aware of Ja'fars past. 

In their early stages, Sinbad was the one who listened and comforted Ja'far, but somehow... He'd grown to believe that now he was a king, he had many much more pressing things to worry about, and slowly pulled away. 

Sinbad had taken that as a sign that his advisor was now feeling more confident in his own skin. Very few times did Ja'far visit him after those days, and only when it was extremely bad. 

However, this incident was worse than any and all combined. 

Sinbad had never seen Ja'far fall so far. He'd never come to a point this horrible, and he wanted to know why. Why had Ja'far gone so far? Why had he not come to Sinbad? Why had he seemed so distant? 

And so, one day, about three days after Ja'fars maintained consciousness, Sinbad visited him after a trivial meeting. 

He'd refused to leave his side for the whole first day, but finally after some of Ja'fars scolding and telling him he had a country to run, he left for increasing amounts of time. Although none lasted longer than six hours. 

He stepped in to find Ja'far out of bed, something that he wasn't technically allowed yet. He was sitting silently on the windowsill, staring out as Sindria's sun was glistening on the water. 

Sinbad knocked quietly on the door, and Ja'fars head turned slowly to face him like a tired child ready for bed. " Who are you? And what have you done with my Ja'far? " He teased, " Breaking the rules... Tch, it couldn't be my advisor, could it?" 

Ja'far allowed a small and lazy smile to sit upon his lips, and he leaned his head back again. " Hey, Sin..." He whispered, weakly waving a still bandaged hand, gesturing for him to join. 

Sin was by his side rather quickly, holding his hand gently and resting his head upon his advisors. " You should be in bed..." 

" I needed a change of scenery..." He murmured tiredly, but with a sort of peace. 

They hadn't talked about their affections, nor had they mentioned their kiss. It was almost a silent agreement, that they would speak of it when Ja'far was well, but that when alone, they could let themselves slip just a bit. 

" You sound tired, Ja'far... " Sin replied, worried for him. 

The advisor shook his head softly, " I... just want to sit here for a bit longer... Please?"

He couldn't deny him even if he'd liked to. " A few more minutes..." He said, caving. 

Sinbad felt Ja'far settle against him, and he wrapped his arm around him gently. 

Ja'fars eyes slowly began to droop, and within moments he was asleep. It seemed his exhaustion and the comfort Sinbad offered was enough to let him fall asleep.

Sinbad's arms very carefully snaked around him and under his knees, the other under his torso. He lifted him with ease and grace, moving to set him in the bed, pulling the duvet up to his shoulders. He placed a soft kiss to his forehead and sat on the end of the bed, waiting. 

He was waiting to talk to Ja'far, and he would continue to wait till he was well.


	11. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken so long!! I had this story on semi-hiatus, but I've written more chapters now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken so long!! I had this story on semi-hiatus, but I've written more chapters now!

Ja'far had woken and Sinbad, being the wonderful friend/lover/King that he was, had already brought up some food for him. 

" What's all this...?" He asked, looking to Sinbad who seemed to be staring blankly for the moment. 

Sinbad startled slightly, shaking his head and looking back to Ja'far. " I figured you'd be hungry, is it too much?" 

He shook his head, " No, it is lovely, Sin. Thank you."

Sin let out a soft sigh and gestured to the glass of water on the night-table. " There's some water as well, and I can bring you whatever else you want. "

Ja'far's head shook again, " Sin, it is more than enough. "

Sinbad bit his lip, then slowly nodded. " I--Ja'far, I have something... I wanted to talk to you about. " 

His interest was piqued as he reached for a few grapes, then his eyes met Sin again. " What is it...?" 

It took Sinbad a moment to level his mind and muster the courage to speak his thoughts. " Ja'far... I need you to know that I care for you, more than anyone in this palace, more than anyone on this island, and more than I've cared for anyone in a very long time..."

Ja'far was beginning to feel uneasy, knowing what Sinbad was trying to say. He'd tried to keep his resolve to leave, he truly had, but Sinbad was just... Too important to let go of. Even if he'd managed to convince himself this was for Sinbad's own good, he couldn't go through with it, not once the words had left Sinbad's mouth. 

Sinbad had taken Ja'far's hand now, squeezing it gently. " I wanted you to recover first... but I cannot wait that long. Ja'far, I need you. I have never needed someone as I need you... And to think..." The king paused, blinking back tears. " To think I nearly lost you... Due to my own ignorance..." 

Ja'far stopped him, moving forward to kiss his lips. It only lasted a moment, just to quiet his best friend. " Sin... It was not your doing..."

" No, I noticed something was wrong... But I never tried to help... And I'm sorry. "

" Sin... There's nothing you could've done... But thank you for being here." He said softly, " Sin... I love you too..."


	12. Do You?

Sinbad's breath hitched in his throat. 

In all his life, he never expected to hear those words escape Ja'far's lips. Sure, Ja'far had kissed him, but that was different. 

Ja'far looked slightly amused, seeing his best friend--well, newfound lover-- silent. Sinbad was rarely speechless, but Ja'far sat up, setting his food aside and pulling Sinbad closer. "Come here," He murmured.

Sinbad obeyed quietly, moving to sit right next to Ja'far, "Do you?" 

Ja'far let out a soft sigh, flicking Sinbad's forehead. "I just said so, didn't I?" 

Sinbad flinched, "Hey!"

Ja'far rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, listen." 

Sinbad groaned, "You're mean."

"Sadly, it seems you won't be getting rid of me and my meanness for a while," Ja'far teases, sitting back. "When can I finally get out of this bed?" 

"Well--," Sinbad started.

"If you're better--tomorrow, hopefully. I've got some medicines for you," Yamuraiha interrupts. 

Ja'far sighs slightly in relief, "Whatever will help me get back to running this country."

Sinbad looked hurt and gasped dramatically. "You?! I'm the king of this country! You are merely an advisor."

Ja'far and Yam looked skeptical, then amused. 

"We all know that you wouldn't attend any meetings unless Ja'far made you," Yam said, "That and you'd run the economy to the ground by throwing parties."

Ja'far smiled a little, which was practically a grin around others. "Yamuraiha knows what she's talking about." 

Sinbad grunted, crossing his arms. "Just drink your medicine," He grumbled unhappily.


	13. Settled

It had been seven months since Ja'far had recovered, and he seemed happier than he had ever been. And people noticed.

Ja'far was currently bringing his things from his room to Sinbad's. He and Sinbad shared a bed quite a few nights since his incident, and Ja'far found that he slept much better with Sinbad there, and even when he did have a nightmare, Sinbad was there to calm him down. 

Sinbad came and had already started picking up armfuls of Ja'far's things when Ja'far came back to get another load. "Oh, Sin," He said with a small smile.

Sinbad beamed, "Hey there," He said, moving and kissing Ja'far's cheek on his way to the door. "That business deal with Reim passed. With Titus around and being Aladdin's friend, it seems we'll have better luck."

Ja'far nodded, "I would say so." 

Sinbad chuckled, walking with Ja'far back to his own room. 

                               |•|

Ja'far, having always been secluded and quiet, took a rather long and difficult path to be more social--no, that wasn't the word. Perhaps the word would be open. 

He had moved into Sinbad's room, stayed with him, and even slept in the same bed. 

Ja'far remembered Sinbad being with many women, and he had that right before now, but things were different. He could see the effort Sinbad put into being faithful and not even flirting unless there was no other option. 

Still, Sinbad was very careful with Ja'far, despite Ja'far's wishes that he would treat him as he always had. Well, he did hope that Sin would at least give him small kisses and private makeout sessions, but otherwise treat him the same.

Everything was coming together, and Ja'far felt so strange. He felt like he belonged here, and that he truly had no other place. This was a new and slightly terrifying prospect. 

Being raised and gone through what Ja'far had, he was very wary of this. 

                               |•|

Ja'far decided that he would take a day off, allowing Spartos the opportunity to be Sinbad's council for the day. He knew Spartos was not exactly the most perfect one for the job, but he knew that he could trust him, and he knew that he would be level-headed, wise, and only speak when necessary. 

He sat silent on the balcony off of Sinbad and his suite. Sunlight spilled through the cracks in the small vines and flowers overhead, casting kaleidoscope shadows over the long fabric of Ja'far's tunic and onto his porcelain skin. He could feel the warmth of the air, and the salty and cool breezes from the nearby sea. Everything was so quiet today, but he didn't mind that one bit. He trailed his fingers over the cool marble beneath him. The sun would be setting soon, and he realized he had been out here for so much longer than he had thought. He hadn't even eaten since breakfast. 

He pulled himself up from the railing of the balcony, having been sitting across its wide top. 

Just as he stood and took one last look over the horizon and the gardens below, he heard the door open. He turned, seein Sinbad. He smiled a little more than usual, having recharged himself mentally and physically. 

Sinbad smiled back brightly, "Hey," he greeted happily.

Ja'far let out a contented sigh as he relaxed into the embrace Sinbad soon placed him in. "How was Spartos today? I hope everything worked out well."

Sinbad chuckled, about to answer that everything was perfectly fine, when Ja'far smelled the scent of sweet liquor. Wine. 

He looked up to Sinbad, expression obviously a bit displeased. "Wine. I smell it."

Sinbad raised his hands defensively. "I swear on my honor I only had one goblet of it, and it was for dinner. You can even ask Spartos." 

Ja'far slowly relaxed, nodding, "Better have only been one," he grumbled, but nuzzled into Sinbad's chest, feeling the strong arms of his lover and King encircle him again.


	14. Joy

It was Ja'far's birthday today--or at least, it was the day they celebrated Ja'far's birthday--and Sinbad was throwing a party. He knew Ja'far wouldn't want a big party, so he'd only invited the other generals, and Aladdin, Alibaba, Morgiana, and just because he could, Titus and Sphintus.

Sinbad woke early, gazing across the tangled sheets to see a sleeping Ja'far. He always looked so peaceful at this time in the morning, and Sinbad liked to just watch him for a little while. He rarely saw the man like this, as he was up earlier than him most mornings, and when Ja'far's was awake, he was a whole different person. 

Hair fell across Ja'far's face in tendrils of white, and Sinbad could only see the small gap between his upper lip and lower, and his light eyelashes resting on his cheeks beneath the hair. He could hear the soft breathing that signified he was, in fact, sleeping peacefully. 

Sinbad hated waking him like this, but he wanted to be the one to wish him a happy birthday first. His hand moved across the mattress, silently resting against Ja'far's cheek now. His face scrunched up a little, and he grumbled a little. A small smile graced the lips of the younger man, and in a moment, his eyes opened and he looked over at his lover. 

Sinbad smiled back, brushing some hair from Ja'far's face. "Good morning," he whispered. Then, he leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss against Ja'far's lips. "And happy birthday," he continued. 

Ja'far smiled a little wider, his arms winding around Sinbad. "Good morning," he murmured back, still a little groggy. 

Sinbad pulled him close, showering him with small and sweet kisses. They stayed this way for a long while, until they both were aware that they still had duties to complete today. Reluctantly, they released each other and got up, readying themselves for the day. 

Unbeknownst to Ja'far, duties had been canceled, and when they reached the dining hall for breakfast, they were greeted by their guests.

It was a joyous greeting, and despite how inexpressive Ja'far may have been, they all knew that he was grateful. The way his lips curled upward just very slightly was enough to tell everyone that he was happy. 

                             ~ • ~

It was evening now, and the company had spent the day in the gardens of the palace, picnicking. They played a few games, and Ja'far had even joined in on a few, much to the surprise of everyone there. 

The sun was beginning to lower itself toward the sea once more and the company all enjoyed their friendly banter, the perfect conversations that happened. Of course Sphintus and Sharkkan had a few points in which they agreed, but also a few they didn't. Titus and Yam would always be quick to end their disputes, and Marga would come to help calm Sphintus down. 

Despite how much Ja'far liked silence and peace, he did enjoy observing some of these arguments, and he loved to watch the young Marga wander over to her surrogate fathers and settle with them to ease the mood. Sinbad didn't leave his side, with the exception of to play party games, which Ja'far didn't mind at all. He felt loved again. He understood now, that he wasn't alone, and that these people loved him. He understood that they trusted him, and slowly, he began to trust himself again. 

Dinner was much quieter, but in a pleasant way. They ate and some of them drank happily, and even Ja'far allowed himself a glass or two of wine. This surprised them all, but they didn't question it. They all settled in their groups, and when dinner was finished it was time for presents. 

From Aladdin, a teapot that was hand-crafted by a merchant that the trio had come across during their adventures. From Morgiana, the matching teacups. And from Alibaba, a fine tea that was known to be Ja'far's favorite, but often unavailable for purchase in Sindria due to the fact it was grown so far away. 

From Titus and Sphintus, a new stationery, a set of beautifully crafted dip-pens, and wax for sealing his letters of importance. They didn't know much about him, but they hoped he would like them. He did. 

And Marga, who didn't need to do anything, came up to Ja'far's chair, standing and waiting patiently. When Ja'far looked to her, she smiled widely, swaying slightly with her hands behind her back. "I have something for you too," she said happily. 

"Is that so?" Ja'far asked, smiling a little back at her, surprising all but Sinbad. 

Marga nodded, pulling out a bouquet of flowers that were native to Reim. They'd been enchanted by Titus to live forever. She handed them over, and Ja'far's smile grew a little wider. 

"Thank you, they're beautiful." He said. He was about to speak again when she tugged at his hand, and he leaned down. 

Marga kissed his cheek, then soon ran back to Titus and Sphintus, hiding behind them. 

Ja'far actually laughed. It was small and quiet, but he did. Even Sinbad was taken aback by that. 

When everyone had finally settled down from the surprise of seeing such a strange happiness on Ja'far's face, they sat back and began the last few gifts.

From the generals, he received a new robe. It looked as if they had all pitched in to gift him this. It was a pale blue color, almost the color of the moon on a night that held wispy clouds, and embroidered at the base were beautiful gems that sparkled, that same pale blue, silver, white, and soft lavender. The belled sleeves had the same embroidery, but it faded as it reached the upper arm and shoulder. He actually gasped a little when he received it. He had no clue when he'd wear such a thing... 

"What... what is this for? It is beautiful, though, I do not see an occasion that befits it," Ja'far said, looking a little surprised and confused.

Sinbad adjusted his seat now, and stood, moving to Ja'far's side. "I can answer that." He said.

He knelt down, and from a pocket hidden in his robes, he produced an elegant and thin silver ring.


	15. Happiness At Last

Ja'far didn't hold back the gasp that left his lips. His heart stopped and he stared down at the silver band with wide eyes.

Sinbad smiled a little at him. "Ja'far, my dearest Ja'far, it takes a very special person to deal with me every single minute of every day. You've been doing it for more than ten years... and in just the past few months, you've become my lover. That in and of itself is difficult task. You are my everything, and you have been for years. I love you. So, please, do this king the honor of marrying such a perfect man." 

Ja'far listened with a heart that now thudded against his chest, loud enough to him that it could've been the drums of war. A smile brighter than any of them had ever seen broke out on his face and he nodded almost frantically. 

"Of course--yes, please." Ja'far struggled to find the words. He held his hand out to Sinbad, and distantly he heard the applauding and cheering of his friends.

Sinbad beamed, retrieving the ring and sliding it onto Ja'far's finger anxiously. Within a moment, Ja'far was scooped up into his newfound finacé's arms and into a kiss. 

The advisor no longer cared who saw them kissing. They were to be married! This was everything Ja'far had hoped for. Nothing in his life would compare to this moment. His everything, his sole purpose in this world had loved him enough to propose. Sinbad wasn't ever considered extraordinarily responsible, but the idea that he wanted to spend the rest of his life tied to Ja'far was absolutely amazing to him. 

Sinbad had been known as a man of many women until recently, when he'd started dating Ja'far. He loved him so much, and he didn't desire anyone more than him. Many of the women he had before were merely to distract him from Ja'far in the first place. Part of him found it hard to believe that his quiet advisor had said yes to his proposal. His personal life and the kingdom would all benefit from this, without a doubt in his mind. 

He didn't worry about Ja'far's loyalty to either. He knew well enough that he was completely dedicated. It showed in his diligence in work and his rants and lectures, despite how much Sinbad still disliked those. 

Ja'far buried his face into Sinbad, his arms around his neck. "I love you," he whispered. He couldn't stop saying it. He repeated it quietly over and over. "I love you, Sinbad." 

Sinbad smiled widely, holding Ja'far close in his arms. "I know," he whispered. "I love you too." 

After a long moment, Sinbad and Ja'far finally pulled away, but their fingers were laced together and stayed that way. 

They returned to the table and got their celebratory drinks and desserts and the party came to life with happiness bubbling from every guest. 

Soon, Titus, Marga, and Sphintus retired to their suite in the palace. Marga needed sleep and her surrogate fathers knew that she wouldn't sleep well without them, and so they said their congratulations and evening farewells and retired. 

It didn't take long for the party to wind down and many of the guests retired as well. 

At the end of the night, Sinbad and Ja'far went to their room, getting dressed in their nightclothes and heading to bed. The beginning of the day and the end were the same, but the end had one difference. The two were engaged. Sinbad held Ja'far close, and Ja'far wound his arms around Sinbad, relaxing against him. 

He hummed contentedly and pressed a kiss to Sinbad's collarbone. "I love you. Thank you for today," he whispered. 

Sinbad smiled and kissed the top of Ja'far's head, "Of course." He murmured. 

It didn't take long for the two of them to fall asleep, tangled in their close embrace.


	16. I'll Be the One in White

After a few months of planning, Sinbad and Ja'far were finally ready. Today was the last day they would spend as unmarried men. It passed much as any other day, at first, but the ending was all planned as well. They had both promised not to stay out late and do anything crazy. Their party would be with each other and the generals anyway, as they did not believe in the strange and foreign superstition that it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding. They should start the marriage as they planned to finish it, together at every turn. 

When they arrived, all eight generals and their closest friends were already starting, wanting to be ready for the happy couple. There were drinks, and games, and everything else you could imagine. 

It was rather late when they arrived back at their suite, but that did not bother them. They were blissfully happy and had just enough wine to make them feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

In the morning when they split and went their separate ways, they had a brief kiss, both well aware that this would be their last kiss before they were married. That gave them a sort of electric surge of happiness and energy. 

"I'll be the one in white," Ja'far teased softly. 

Sinbad laughed, grinning at his soon-to-be husband. "And you'll also be wearing something a little old and blue, but I definitely won't be borrowing it," he replied with another deep, bellowing laugh. 

And soon they had separated. 

It already evening when the last details had been attended to and the two were declared ready to start. The sun had begun to set when Ja'far and Sinbad were brought to the shore of the Southern Sea. 

An altar was laid out on the sand, and the few guests were seated before it in two groups. There were three aisles, one between the two groups of guests and one on either side in front of them to the altar. Sinbad was situated on the right hand side, while Ja'far had taken the left. The altar faced the sea and the waves lapped at its pale wooden base. There were lanterns of blue and purple hues scattered above the guest seating and more white and pale, silvery lights shone over the altar. 

The music had begun as the sun was nearly half gone. This was going to be perfect. 

Ja'far and Sinbad began their walk toward each other, taking slow and cadenced steps. Both wore smiles, much to the surprise of the guests. They maintained eye contact, but on occasion, their eyes would drift to behold their love. 

Ja'far's new robe was glittering in the lights above them, and his pale skin made him look like the moon itself. His silver hair, pale complexion and the freckles that sat like constellations on his cheeks only enhanced this beauty before him. 

Sinbad wore pale gold hues, sparkling in the most dazzling hues of yellow and ochre. His hair was done into a gold plaited braid down his back, and a circlet of thin gold spiraled around his purple locks. 

They were both clothed in silken glory, and they were more to behold than could ever be imagined.

When the two met at the altar, ascending the steps to greet each other, Yam stood between them, clothed in a simple dress of pale greenish hues. 

The introduction was short and sweet, and soon they were beginning their vows. 

Yamuraiha oversaw their words, but their vows were almost entirely their own. She guided only every few moments, and Sinbad and Ja'far both spoke their unique vows. 

Their vows consisted of a brief overview of their lives together, and how they had come to meet. Then, they continued into the relationship they carried out and how their development came to be. Finally, into their future. Their solemn promises to each other as husbands. 

"For until I draw my last breath, until this world or I do perish, I will love you. I will accept what comes and I will carry you through trial and tribulation. I will never leave your side, as you are mine and I am yours. May our love grow stronger, our hearts grow fonder, and our lives reflect what passion lay inside us. My heart will promise this to you." 

Two orbs began to float and glow above them, one gold and one silver, and when these words had been spoken by both, they merged into one and light, and, like a crashing wave, flowed over the beach. Sinbad and Ja'far's lips sealed and their vows solidified. 

Together they would remain, for all their lives. 

They exited together through the center aisle, amidst a crowd of cheering guests and the whole of Sindria roared with applause and cries of happiness  as the spectators from the town began to join in. 

Next came the reception at the castle, and never had there been such a gathering--never such happiness and sheer joy amongst the kingdom. 

And when Sinbad and Ja'far laid down to bed, it was two as one, souls and bodies joined in matrimony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading this far, I really appreciate it! Leave a comment to tell me what you think! 
> 
> I think this might be the end, but what do you guys think? Anything else you absolutely need to hear?


End file.
